Chasing Dreams

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

I recently read an inspiring post on decouverte's blog that was originally written by nirrimi.

Thoughts on Dreams

i remember being a child. this long-haired, twiggy thing with delicious dreams of becoming a movie starlet or a princess. of course, you're not entirely logical when you are that young. your head is in the clouds and the future is a million miles away. i think when the clouds begin to clear and you start to see the future there in the sky, you begin to grow up. life begins to sink in. you realise you are not beautiful or elegant enough to become a princess, and your eyes don't sparkle enough to be a movie star. try again.

even though my clouds cleared away sooner than anyone else i knew my age, i was still breathing them. only suddenly i knew who i was, or moreso, who i wanted to be. i was fourteen and i wrote in my diary "i am nirrimi and because of that, i'm going to live. really live." and for me that meant throwing myself headfirst into photography and life. i didn't attend school much, i spent days planning, learning to retouch and taking pictures. my studies suffered and my passion bloomed. it was "illogical and thoughtless" but i thought, why should i listen to a miserable, high school teacher about how to live my life?

my grandparents lived by the alice river, on an enormous property with fruit trees and a treehouse by the water where you could watch cows gather at sunset. i remember sitting in the treehouse with a blank book, filling it with ideas for pictures. the passion welled up in me and i saw the world through picture-finding eyes. i miss the excitement now, which only greets me sometimes in memory. i discovered that came with my growing up, it became harder to feel.

there is resentment and jealousy from others at times, as though people think i am undeserving of the attention i've gotten or the talent i've developed. as though it is all luck and really, they deserve it much more. but i have worked and i have obsessed. i've left my mind inside my camera and forgotten to use my head, pushing away friends and family and being regretfully selfish. i've forced myself to grow up rather quickly. and now things are beginning to happen for me. things i only ever imagined. not just with photography, but also with my life and lover (but that's a story for another day).

i've learnt that to make dreams come true, you have to be obsessed. truly, utterly obsessed. i think of obsession as passion squared, and if you have passion for something people will see that. if you go through an entire day without doing something towards your dream, you're not obsessed enough to make it happen.

sure, some people get lucky, but we're not going to wait around to see if that's us. we need to make things happen for ourselves, because we are the only ones in control of our lives. with enough obsession and work any dream can come true for you. you will be disappointed, sleepless and somedays you will want to give up. but you will be happy, because you are living.
i can't wait to let my children dream the way my parents let me. teach them that as long as they have the love and motivation to work towards their wildest fantasies, they will happen.

never give up on all your loves and dreams, let them out to be loud!

I had a long talk with my dad two days ago. It had to do with college and my future, of course. well, let me back up; it was more like him talking away while I nodded at all the right times, whether or not I actually agreed to what he said. Basically, he had gotten very angry when he overheard me say that I hope to one day learn both science and art in college. He misinterpreted that and thought that I wanted to major in art, which I really don't want to do. well, in the fine arts at least. I like applied arts more, like package designing or advertising, not strictly painting or drawing. My dad believes in the whole "starving artist" stereotype a whole lot, which is why he wants me to go to med school.. or at least science.

I enjoy science and art/aesthetics. I have thought about certain jobs that I could do in the future, but none of them truly appealed to me. But then yesterday, I found out about cosmetic science. I like science and cosmetics, as ironic as it seems. So yea, I always wonder about how people make anti-aging creams, water-proof makeup, moisturizers, powders with minerals, etc. I would love to work for La Mer or L'Oreal one day. :) That road might be difficult, but it's something that I'm truly interested.

Hopefully I'll be able to achieve my dreams someday.

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  1. :D awesome! =]]]]]] what a great way to combine two things you want to do!

    it seems like there's no way to combine science + accounting? or more like...biochem + accounting = nonexistent.


  2. mmm Nirrimi :)
    I know I talked to you in Spanish about this already, but it's really cool that you found something that intersects with so many of your interests. hope this dream comes true for you.

  3. Hello, thanks for visiting my blog :)

    I think almost every high school students went through this phase: when they realized that their dream just seemed to be unrealistic in their parents' eyes. It was like that too for me in fashion, but my years of "obsession" (like Nirrimi said) has open their eyes that I am truly serious about what I do.

    Hope you can reach your dream too, it's great you find something that you love while getting it approved by your parents. Become obsessed!